PolyOz

These terms are very widespread, very important, and yet also very controversial. Some people try to avoid them entirely, for philosophical reasons. Others use the terms, but not always in quite the same way. There are two major usages. In the more common, a "primary" relationship is marriage like; it typically involves living together, often involves sharing finances or child raising. Life decisions are often made jointly, eg: where to live; jobs or careers to take, build or depart; bearing or adopting children. (See also "Nesting" relationships). Any of these may or may not exist in a given relationship considered primary by those involved. A secondary relationship is one generally not involving these things. Typically it involves living separately, having separate finances, and acting more as a (perhaps very close) friend than as a full partner in major life decisions. In this usage, one could have zero, one, or multiple "primary" relationships, and zero or more secondary relationships. Some people have only secondary relationships by choice or circumstances; some have more than one primary. This usage is a description of the kind of interweaving of lives involved in a particular pairing. It does not necessarily reflect the relative depth of love or understanding.