PolyOz

OPENING A CONVERSATION ABOUT MULTIPLE LOVERS, HONESTY AND RESPECT IS NO SIMPLE MATTER, SAYS REBECCA FITZGIBBON

- article originally published Hobart Mercury 23/2/2008 -

THE thought-provoking Big Love returns to Tasmanian television screens tonight, as SBS repeats the challenging drama about a Mormon polygamist family in Utah.

The series caused only a few ripples of disapproval when it aired last year, even though it coincided with a real-life news story of a Mormon "prophet" accused of incest and rape.

But polygamy is only one form of polyamory and the creators of Big Love aimed to show that polyamorous relationships aren't just for fringe cults

The word "polyamory" comes from the Latin for "many loves". Also called "consensual non-monogamy", polyamory is essentially a romantic relationship involving more than two people.

A defining factor of poly relationships is that everyone involved knows about, and agrees to, everyone else's involvement.

Former Tasmanian Shane Jones is administrator of the Australian online network of poly communities, PolyOz (polyoz.dhs.org).

Now living in Victoria, he believes the important goal is encouraging understanding. "Big Love does actually portray well in that the women are there by their own choosing they join the relationship," he said. "The important thing is that it's made clear to people that no one is coerced into it.

"[Big Love] does portray them in quite an enjoyable and recognisable light; I think anyone can relate to that. Big Love's creators have done quite well."
Channel 9 declined a first option for screening Big Love. Then, after its success on SBS, Nine approached Shane, his two female partners and other PolyOz members with an interview request from 60 Minutes.

They declined the interview, as well as one with Woman's Day, which offered $3000 each for interviews. Potential sensationalism made them wary, despite their being willing to discuss the reality of polyamorous life.

"Acceptance is the biggest thing," Shane said. "The challenge that we're facing today is probably what the gay community was facing in the '70s . . . and educating the public that we're not a bunch of child molesters or preying at large, out to get people."

POLYFIDELITY: THE CONTEMPORARY EGALITARIAN REINCARNATION OF POLYGAMY

-PRESENTED TO THE W. A. SEXOLOGY SOCIETY 17 FEBRUARY 1993

BY CARL W. TURNEY CO-FOUNDER BEYOND MONOGAMY INC.

TRIAD

You want to know how it will be

Me and her or you and me

You both sit there, with your long hair flowing

Your eyes are alive; your minds are still growing

Saying to me "What can we do now that we both love you"

I love you too

But I don't really see, why can't we go on as three

You are afraid, embarrassed too

No one has ever said such a thing to you

Your mother's ghost stands at your shoulder

Got a face like ice, just a little colder

Saying to you "You can not do that

It breaks all the rules you learned in school"

I don't really see, why can't we go on as three

We love each other it's plain to see

There's just one answer comes to me

Sister lovers -- water brothers

And in time, maybe others

So you see what we can do, is to try something new --

That is if you're crazy too

I don't really see why can't we go on as three

David Crosby

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young