PolyOz

Seems as though polyamory is starting to "come out" worldwide as can be seen by this article from the Jakarta Post

Aside from the huge gasp that reverberates throughout the country, the response toward the sex tape involving television personality Cut Tari and rock star Nazriel “Ariel” Ilham, has been somewhat varied.

Keepers of traditional values were disappointed with what they viewed as “irresponsible” behavior from a wife. Many others criticized her husband for being too soft on her, in spite of an extra-marital affair with another man. But for a large number of trend watchers in Jakarta, the sex tape is more proof that what they term as an “open marriage” is alive and well in the city.

Open marriage, loosely defined as a marriage in which partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without being regarded as infidelity, is barely a novelty in what is a seemingly conservative society like ours, although it gained less notoriety than the case of polygamy, which has been accepted in the country for decades.

Polyamory is a hybrid word: poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love. It has been independently coined by several people, including Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart whose article "A Bouquet of Lovers" (1990) is widely cited as the source of the word, and Jennifer Wesp who created the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory in 1992. However, the term has been reported in occasional use since the 1960s, and even outside polygamous cultures such relationships existed well before the name was coined; for one example dating from the 1920s, see William Moulton Marston.

Ever wonder what people are thinking of when they hear the word Polyamory? 

We decided to do a little reseach on the internet.........

The following is a list of words that society in general tends to associate with polyamory - these words most commonly appear in internet seaches :-

• polyamory
• marriage
• polygamy

Author's Note:  I had never heard of Robert A. Heinlein until I became involved with the polyamory community. So when I had to do a Sociology paper on any subject, I decided to answer for myself why Heinlein was so often cited as being a catalyst for people finding polyamory. Below is my cited research paper on Heinlein's fairly direct impact on the development of the 'movement' of polyamory. 

Influence of the Science Fiction Writings of Robert A. Heinlein on Polyamory
By Cherie L. Ve Ard

The concept behind polyamory, or the lifestyle of openly and honestly loving more than one person at a time, has been around for much longer than the word itself.  But with the advent of the internet and a term to draw people together, polyamory has become a movement of its own. The Ravenheart family, who formed a ‘nest’ and a church based on the writings of Robert A. Heinlein, are frequently credited with coining the term ‘polyamorous’. Because a word was created, people of like minds are now able to partake in a community that has resulted from the polyamory movement. Even today, more than 40 years after the influential works of Heinlein were published, people still point to reading Heinlein’s science fiction writings as the catalyst that brought them to exploring polyamorous lifestyles.

Robert A. Heinlein is a recognized science fiction writer, who wrote short stories, novellas and novels from 1939 until 1987. His writings often questioned various social and political norms.

In 1961, Heinlein published Stranger in a Strange Land, about a human raised on Mars who returns to Earth, bringing along some alternative views on sexuality, relationships and spirituality.  “Robert Heinlein depicts a group where bacchanalia, mate-swapping, and communal living are wholly moral”. The fictional Martian, Valentine Michael Smith, formed the Church of All Worlds for his followers who subscribed to his theories on spirituality and relationships. Nesting, or forming intricate webs of intimate connections in a group of church members, was presented as a valid social structure in the book.

Free love might sound like a euphemism for group sex, but to Boston's polyamory community, it's just like marriage -- only bigger

by Alicia Potter

Originally published -The Boston Phoenix Oct 15, 1998

© Alicia Potter / Boston Phoenix

On a crooked street in Somerville is a purple house that no doubt raises eyebrows every few Thursdays. That's when it becomes a meeting site for Love Without Bounds, a local organization for young believers in free love.

On a recent evening, members of the group arrive in boisterous trios and hand-holding twosomes. They greet each other with deep, lingering embraces -- no air kisses here -- before plunking onto pillows or curling up together in corners. If ever a crowd spelled "orgy," it's this one.

But two hours pass, and the gathering fails to erupt into any sort of carnal acrobatics. At least the conversation is provocative, but again, not in the way you might think.

"Sex is cheap," says a black-clad man, to nods of agreement. "I want relationships."

It feels like a big book club, with slightly different topics of conversation. The members talk about how to ask someone out if you're married. How to fend off jealousy if you're living with your lover and his lover. How to deal with a world of pairs when you're part of a trio. In short, they talk about what it's like to be polyamorous.

Most of my understanding of the feelings I have had from a young age were brought home to me when I started reading the works of Robert Heinlein. I had always felt uncomfortable in one to one relationship and had been through all the cheating and swinging stages and still I felt unfulfilled - it was as if something was missing.

After reading may of Heinlein's books I began to see there was an alternative to monogamy and then sought out more information on the subject - which has led me to where I am today.

If I were to quote one piece of Heinlein that describes my "meaning" of Polyamory - I guess it would have to be the following from "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"

Please Note:- I apply the wording "line marriage" as equating to polyamory in my day to day life...

"They arise as, as marriage customs always do, from economic necessities of the circumstances - and our circumstances are very different from those here on Earth. Take the line type of marriage which my colleague has been praising - and justifiably, I assure you despite his personal bias - I am a bachelor and have no bias. Line Marriage is the strongest possible device for conserving capital and insuring the welfare of children - the two basic societal functions for marriage everywhere - in an environment in which there is no security, neither for capital nor for children, other than that devised by individuals. Somehow human beings always cope with their environment. Line Marriage is a remarkably successful invention to that end."

Read into that what you will and move some words around but it is something that has always brought home to me the need for some viable alternatives to monogamy...

POLYFIDELITY: THE CONTEMPORARY EGALITARIAN REINCARNATION OF POLYGAMY

-PRESENTED TO THE W. A. SEXOLOGY SOCIETY 17 FEBRUARY 1993

BY CARL W. TURNEY CO-FOUNDER BEYOND MONOGAMY INC.

TRIAD

You want to know how it will be

Me and her or you and me

You both sit there, with your long hair flowing

Your eyes are alive; your minds are still growing

Saying to me "What can we do now that we both love you"

I love you too

But I don't really see, why can't we go on as three

You are afraid, embarrassed too

No one has ever said such a thing to you

Your mother's ghost stands at your shoulder

Got a face like ice, just a little colder

Saying to you "You can not do that

It breaks all the rules you learned in school"

I don't really see, why can't we go on as three

We love each other it's plain to see

There's just one answer comes to me

Sister lovers -- water brothers

And in time, maybe others

So you see what we can do, is to try something new --

That is if you're crazy too

I don't really see why can't we go on as three

David Crosby

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young